eleventh (unsacred)

TW: discussion of suicide, gore, violence, heavily anti-christian sentiment, and sexual abuse

inviolet the deer (AND THE DIRECTOR OF HEAVEN!) and sacrosanct the falcon-god discuss their histories and manipulate dimensional / temporal mechanics for the sake of one another, for each other's sake, to find a way to be together, despite all the ways it could (AND HAS GONE!) go wrong. 

--[reposted from cohost]--

ELEVENTH is a game for the playdate that's about INVIOLET TRUONG and SACROSANCT (SUKUNA) who are presented symbolically as a deer and a mythical bird. OMNISCIENCE v. OMNIPOTENCE: which god will win?

TW: SUICIDE

it is about the relationship between two people who are continually locked in a cycle of saving one another from suicide ("if one of us dies...Then We Both Will" [crane tail]) and it's rly about time-gods and time-keeping and the kind of time you do and don't keep when you Have Neurological Problems and Issues some of which stem from complex post-traumatic stress disorder and some of which stem from having an undiagnosed seizure disorder. among other things.

but inviolet is the timekeeper and the HUMAN THAT SACRIFICED ALL OF HUMANITY to save not just a curse but the worst (sacrosanct).

inviolet is named for "THOUGH NOTHING IS INVIOLATE, I KNOW THERE IS STILL SACRED LEFT."

sacrosanct is named for "NOTHING IS INVIOLATE, NOR IS IT SACROSANCT."

they're about the infinite struggle / infinity loop / double helix / 天与呪縛 / 無限の形 / 次元の魔法

天与呪縛 (TENYO JUBAKU):

heaven + heavensent / godgiven + curse + binding / restriction

無限の形 (MUGEN NO KATACHI):

infinite + limitless / form & shape (abstract or physical)

次元の魔法 (JIGEN NO MAHOU):

dimensional witch

what that means is that (i hate to even call it this for personal reasons) but "trauma" cycles in the sense that you re-enact the worst horrors that have been done to you infinitely, after you have surpassed a certain threshold of horror which means you can no longer "experience" terror in the same way. there is an emotion that persists beyond fear, and that "disables fear," to the point that you transform / are mutated into "a different animal."

i was talking with my special bnuuy about the way that some people treat my games like a walk in the dogpark when it is a hunting ground for a pack of wolves (i am every wolf) and they don't understand the ferocity and the life-threatening stakes and the depth of visceral, dark confession, and hope that rises from the deep.

i don't think of myself a person, and i am not treated like one.

i don't think of myself as a person, because i am not treated like one.

but these people who are human down to their bones (to be human is to dehumanize other things.) do not understand i am not like them, so they think i am presenting them a game that is a "playground" when for me it is my "hunting ground" and when they watch me "hunt" they think of it as a particularly spectacular dis/PLAY.

ELEVENTH is borne from the particular distaste / resentment / humiliation / lack of fear / inviolate pride / despair of being a hunting bird whose father wishes to cage a falcon and punish it for not singing like a canary, because a bird is a bird, isn't it? and a "girl" is a "girl."

nothing will violate INVIOLET'S composure. nor their rage. (except, for maybe SACROSANCT, their 天敵 heaven-designated enemy.)